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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Barry Is Back in the News: Also, Total Chaos

So it appears the Giants are going to pay Barry upwards of $15 million to see if he can finally break Hank's record. Maybe Bonds will end the suspense by bringing his personal trainers into the lockeroom and voiding his contract. I have a terrible feeling about this. Not just that he is going to actually break the record, but that he will eventually be embraced by "average" baseball fans, which is to say the "general public." At the forefront will be ESPN. They will debate the issue on Around the Horn, immediately echoed by PTI, immediately echoed by Sportscenter, immediately echoed by Baseball Tonight, and the only conclusion they will come to is publicity.

I'm sure Barry's PR people will turn it into a race issue. By PR people, I mean probably Page 2. This argument should really produce zero credence since a) Hank Aaron was also black (in a time when it was actually difficult to be black and not just "apparently" difficult to be black), and b) Mark McGwire is white, and he has been banished from baseball's hallowed grounds - the Hall of Fame- and conversations unless they begin with "Congress" or "hearings." The average American forgives and/or forgets as a general rule for pretty much anything, unless of course they are passing judgment on a Republican. And for whatever reason, and more than likely for no reason at all, Barry will be forgiven when his infamous home-run clears its final hurdle. The game will be suspended, music will be played, Barry may actually cry, hug his family, make a run at being human, shake some hands, and amongst the pomp and circumstance the purists will shudder, and their cries will be overwhelmed by exploding fireworks signaling baseball has forever changed and baseball players have forever been tainted.

It was one thing when changes were innocent, when games were played at night, when they added the DH, when games on radio no longer dominated the air waves, but this time as baseball presumably turns its head, the most important record in all of sports will abruptly lose its meaning with one swing of a bat made by a man swinging solely for himself. Maybe I am naive about players from yester-year who assuredly had their own shortcomings and made their own mistakes. But for me there is almost a romantic link between our national pastime, ballplayers and booze, and chasing women in its golden age. And now... horse steroids? And greenies? And the national pastime has taken on a quite literal meaning with recent threats of government intervention. Certainly they didn't have 24-hours of reporters and photographers and ESPN Hollywood (aka Sportscenter) to deal with in the 40's and 50's, etc. but there is a reason we will always associate Hank Aaron with class. And though his famous swing will not be heralded with the accomplishment of Jackie Robinson, at least it isn't a far cry to imagine Hank's home-run swing was made for more than just himself.

And in keeping with the theme of this blog - that Barry Bonds brings the world closer to the apocalypse every time he goes yard - the current headline on Drudge - "Tomorrow's Forecast: Chaos."

Oh, and Barbaro is dead.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Another Rocker Update

Another Rocker update. This one has nothing to do with Barry Bonds though you could always blame him since – again – you can’t prove that his home runs have nothing to do with anything and everything terrible that happens in the world.

And Rocker’s interview on FoxNews was terrible. Not because of anything Rocker said or did, but rather because of the sophomoric interview conducted by what’s her face on FoxNews. It had the same tone and direction of the radio interview posted on Rocker’s publicist's blog. And given the picture of the interviewer it doesn’t say much for FoxNews and what’s her face.


Our Anchors are louder than our guests... so they must be right.

Rocker was on the show promoting his “Speak English” campaign which boils down to his social statement that foreigners coming to live or work or both in this country should assimilate into our American culture as a matter of respect. Not that these (mostly) good people should forfeit their heritage because they came to make a buck in the States, but rather they should have as much interest in America and Americans as they do in , for example, Mexico and Mexicans. Maybe the message is more or less Speak English – as best you can – or even Learn to Speak English…but those aren’t very catchy.

Nary any of that came across in the Fox interview, which was turned into the interviewer’s chance to take advantage of John Rocker and for what’s her face to abuse her privileges as host. The interview immediately turned to Rocker’s statements in 2000 and the point was basically you said that stuff then, so you must still mean it now, therefore your current argument is in fact disrespectful and should be ignored or disregarded all together. Brilliant.

Personally I think it speaks more to problems with the media and getting the news in general. Granted 90% of FoxNews is commentary anyway (as is most everything else on TV these days), so it isn’t like a host has to be completely objective, but at least have the decency to argue about your guest’s current issues. Having Rocker on your show is like hitting a softball. You can set him up and take him down whether he is going to play ball or not. That’s easy. So are Moncia Lewinsky jokes, but those aren’t funny anymore either nor would anybody ask President Clinton about it anymore.


BORING

So as a result of the interview, anybody casually watching the show has virtually no idea what the Speak English campaign is about, but all of them remember they hate Rocker for some reason: mostly for what he said in 2000. And it’s not so much what he said as it is what the media told you he said. If Rocker says that stuff to 90% of the country on an individual basis, there isn’t a problem. It happens everyday. But when Sports Illustrated writers, and ESPN commentators, and FoxNews anchors make what he says the story then it’s as if we are programmed to hate the guy. And currently when you preface an interview with John Rocker – who hates NewYorkers and gay people – you could follow with a story about how Rocker saved three homeless black kids and their dog from a raging inferno in Harlem and people are still going to say, “Wait a second, that guy hates gay people. And New Yorkers.”

So anyway in the previous post, BoD came up with the idea to compile questions to ask Mr. Rocker if he ever perused the site. I think we’ll just post a few of them and see what happens. And by the way, here's my email: rich.varner@ttu.edu

Q1 -- Mr. Rocker, you have been the target of the hitman that is the media. Though you were just one baseball player speaking his mind off the cuff, the onslaught caused major problems and no doubt had some negative impact on your career. So the question, do you think the lessons you learned from the media overkill as it relates to sports carry over into how you view politics? That is, how trusting are you of the media when it comes to things like the First Amendment, the War on Terror, President Bush, and things of that nature?

Q2 – Why haven’t you paid Barrett?

Q3 – Why on Earth would you bet against Auburn?

Q4 – Do you have a stance on steroids and what say you – as a former Brave after all – about Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron’s record?

Q5 -- Do you consider yourself a rightest or leftist Hegelian, or you reject dialectics all together?

Q6 -- To whom do you most closely identify with on a political level?:a. George F. Willb. Edward Kennedyc. Patrick J. Buchanand. Noam Chomsky

Q7 – Would you throw at Barry Bonds?

Q8 – Where do you go from here?

Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Truth and John Rocker

So considering there hasn't been a new post on this website in quite some time, and also taking in mind half of Earth hasn't exploded even though Bonds now has a whopping 24 HR's this season and 732 total...maybe Barry isn't causing mass hysteria, destruction, total chaos and the apocalypse just by 'roid raging baseballs out of the yard. But May was the last time any serious research was conducted and A LOT of messed up stuff has happened since then. E.G. Everybody knows how to spell this guy's name now and you can't prove it has nothing to do with Barry Bonds hitting, say, home run number 720.

SCARY

So, I still like the idea that we need theories to stop Bonds, and John Rocker is still the Chuck Norris of these ideas. I've paid $35 and up to see some pretty terrible major league baseball games and I would defintely pay at least that much on a regular basis to see Rocker chunk fastballs at Barry's weak ass tendons. See Resolution Number 1

The true irony (at least it's kind of ironic to this website) about all of this is that Barry's home run chase has been virtually irrelvant all season long with the exception of that annoying "Chasing Aaron" feature ESPN scrolls on the bottom of the TV screen, and meanwhile John Rocker has been on the news (like the legit news not Sportscenter) putting the media in its place on a variety of topics including Mel mother F'ing Gibson. Not to mention the Pros vs. Joes event where dudes had to charge the mound and play King of the Hill against the Mouth of the South. That was badass.

Which finally brings me to the point of this post. Though people still ask about the site, we really still only have one big fan - who just happens to work with Mr. Rocker. So we here at BoD now have two missions: 1) Stop Barry Bonds from breaking a great record held by a legitimate, great American and 2) Have John Rocker add something to this blog...especially if it's answering questions. But anybody who has ever watched that stupid "Hot Seat" gimmick they do on Sportscenter knows that people sometimes ask dumb F'ing questions and they never ask what you want to hear answered. So pretend you have John Rocker on the "hot seat" or in an elevator or in your holding cell, etc. and you can only ask one question...what would it be? I think mine would be serious. For example:

"Mr. Rocker, you have been the target of the hitman that is the media. Though you were just one baseball player speaking his mind off the cuff, the onslaught caused major problems and no doubt had some negative impact on your career. So the question, do you think the lessons you learned from the media overkill as it relates to sports carry over into how you view politics? That is, how trusting are you of the media when it comes to things like the First Amendment, the War on Terror, President Bush, and things of that nature?"

Damn. That question kind of sucks. I'm sure anyone reading this can come up with something better...and if you do, leave a comment and maybe we will get some feedback from a guy from Georgia who did what every Southerner would do if given the chance: piss off the entire state of New York.

UPDATE: The website is freaking out and I can't add any pictures. But, if you go to Rocker's website...it turns out Mr. Rocker really doesn't have a problem a with people of other races, especially if they are smoking hot.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Barry One Away From Second Place

So Barry went yard yesterday. Thanks a lot Jon Lieber. And now we are at 713... One home run away from tying one of the top 3 most recognizable athletes of all time in what has historically been the most coveted record of all time. After Barry's shot slammed into a McDonald's sign at Citizens Bank Park, Israel released a statement saying, "Iran can also be wiped off the map." Iran had previously misinterpreted a Bonds long ball as a threat and promised to bomb everybody. Sounds like this is going well.

MLB is doing the right thing and has planned no celebration when Bonds eventually breaks the record, which is really kind of like throwing a victory parade for losing the World Series. ESPN on the other hand is planning a giant orgy with Bonds, Pedro Gomez, Scott Van Pelt, and just to piss everybody off Stephen A. Smith will join the fray so an ESPN basketball analyst can take some time from kissing Kobe's ass to spend some quality time dangling from Barry's nuts. Peter Gammons will break it down and Chris Berman will be available for sound effects. It sounds pretty disturbing but the producers of Bonds on Bonds are fucking pumped.

Speaking of ESPN, the race-baiters on Sportcenter are cooking up a classic straw man. In their opening for their 5:00 CST show they questioned whether the Bonds treatment has been fair and implied that race is involved. This proves that they pretty much missed the point entirely up in Bristol but probably do so with ulterior motives. They don't want to talk about steroids. Why? Who knows? It probably has something to do with the ball sucking mentioned above. That or the fact that ESPN has to have a cause.

If ESPN had a political show, these would be the talking heads.

What they don't realize is that nobody cares about Bonds blackness. Had people have known McGwire's punk ass was doing Roids, he would be getting the same treatment...without the benefit of ESPN's straw man arguments. I remember when Sportscenter was just some dudes showing 30 minutes of highlights without a "cause." Now we get 15 minutes of highlights, 30 minutes of pure speculation (will Brett Favre play 2 more years? Was Kobe making a statement? Is Stuart Scott's poetry profound?), and 15 minutes of Bonds is black, the alleged Duke victim is black, Augusta still won't let women in, there are no black people in the front office somewhere, etc. etc. etc. Seriously...shut the hell up ESPN and show me some games. I cannot wait until the Internet makes you completely irrelevant. And quit hitting home runs Barry...Son of a Bitch.


Don't worry ESPN...white people aren't going to bust out the civil rights hose for Barry Bonds.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Not Bad Philly

So night one of the Traveling Bonds Circus is over in Philly. I missed the game (Cinco de Mayo) but read all about it this morning. It appears he definitely got a lot of fan abuse, though everybody didn't go to the concourse which really would have been awesome. It was still probably the best showing so far. I think the highlight probably had to be this sign:


And some of the comments coming in have been pretty good. This is my favorite as posted by anonymous:

"Everyone can get off their high horse. It's fucking baseball. So many guys have done steroids its not even a discussion worth having. MLB is still barely cracking down anyways. Fan protests (the same fans who enjoyed the ROID fueled 90s including Big Mac and Sosa) should stop acting so righteous about this. Enjoy Bonds, enjoy his ABs, mock him, throw shit at him, do whatever. BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T DO IT ON A HIGH HORSE. Give me a break."

First of all, anonymous, you can fuck my high horse.

Second of all you are exactly right, "It's fucking baseball." This is why everybody is so pissed. Real baseball fans shouldn't and don't condone this tainted era, and if everybody just turns a blind eye and lets the one guy who is breaking all the records go, then his steroid use has been
legitimized. These are the most hallowed records in all of sports we are talking about. Baseball is deeply rooted in its history. More so than any other American sport. So because MLB isn't going to do it, and ESPN isn't going to do it, if the fans don't do anything about it, then Barry Bonds is going to take a giant moose on everything that came before him. The fans themselves become the asterisk. It will forever be, Bonds hit number 715 to a host of boos and fans leaving the stadium.



Wednesday, May 03, 2006

How to Stop Bonds

Get into his head...maybe? There certainly is a lot more head to get into now than there was say 10 years ago physically speaking. With the exception of his first game in mild San Diego, Barry has pretty much been shielded by the hippies in San Francisco. It's really no surprise those Left Coasters don't have a problem with a baseball player doing drugs.

But looking at the schedule, it could get interesting for Barry. Dude has to go to Philly for a weekend series against the Phillies. Last time I checked the fans out there do not have a reputation for being passive, and I think some organized resistance is in order. We have seen people throw stuff at the guy. The syringe was pretty funny but then the toothpaste tube or whatever that was...really? But how effective have the individual efforts been? Not very.

On Baseball Tonight they were talking about a rumor that fans were going to go into the concourse for every Bonds at-bat. I like it. Don't boo. Don't throw anything at him. Just don't watch. I really don't think Bonds would care. He certainly wouldn't show any emotion and I can imagine the stale interviews after the game. But I think this sends a serious message to both MLB and to fans around the country who care about the integrity of the game. Certainly it is a lot to ask to boycott the games Barry plays in, but to boycott Bonds himself is brilliant. The problem is in the organization of the protest. If everybody tried to leave their seat when he got to the plate it would be too late. But if everybody left their seat when he was in the on-deck circle the majority of them would have time to get completely out of the the field of view. I think it would work.

Any Philly fans reading this...spread the word. Any other ideas? Leave a comment.

Update

So Baseball Tonight talked about number 712 for the first 10 minutes of their show. What a waste. But I am pretty sure John Kruk reads this site as he finally did some analysis on all FOUR of Bonds home runs this year. They have all been out over the plate, including Linebrink's brilliant set of pitches (see below). I am still waiting for somebody to hit the guy somewhere besides the body armour. He doesn't wear anything on his legs pitchers. I really want to see what happens when guys start mixing in some low and inside stuff. What's he gonna do if you hit him? Hobble out to the mound?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Scott Linebrink Sings Like Shit

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Barry Bonds is two away from tying the Babe.
Bonds hit his 712th home run in the San Francisco Giants' 5-3 loss to San Diego on Tuesday, moving him even closer to matching Babe Ruth's total for second place on the career list.
Bonds sent a full-count pitch from Scott Linebrink over the center-field wall for a solo shot that traveled an estimated 440 feet in the bottom of the eighth inning. Linebrink became the 419th pitcher to surrender a home run to Bonds.... THANKS A LOT SCOTT. Yeah and I bet that song kicks a lot of ass Linebrink. "I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I gave my... " Where's Bluto Blutarsky when you need him?



So begins the AP article documenting the Giants 5-3 loss to the Padres. But all the nonsense about what actually happened in the game didn't start until a few paragraphs down. The real news is that Bonds is only two away from forever tainting the game of our grandfathers and great grandfathers. And right in the middle of exams no less. The prick.

In related news...the Iranians seem to have misunderstood Bonds' selfish, steroid indulged assault on the record books as some kind of a threat and promised to attack Israel if the U.S. acts "evil." Something about an infidel. I don't understand those people. Me personally? I'm not too worried about Israel. They will F Iran's S up. There aren't a whole lot of countries out there who can say they were at the winning end of a war that lasted only six days. But after that what happens? Anybody else been reading about Russia in the news lately? Just stop hitting home runs Barry...seriously.

UPDATE
After showing the Bonds home run over and over and over and over on Sportscenter and on Baseball Tonight, an 8.0 Earthquake was created in the Tonga Islands. As of noon CST, there is a tsunami warning for the Fiji Islands. Hopefully the death toll is down per capita as there aren't that many people in that part of the world...but whether anything happens or not I am going to go ahead and add Vijay Singh to the people who HATE Barry Bonds.