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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Geology Sucks

Barry's first home run as a Giant came on April 12, 1993 in a 4-3 win against the Marlins. It didn't really matter how many home runs he had at the time because the apparent BTE (Bonds Tragedy Effect) was incredibly low...at least it was on April 12. And though the actual BTE time was relatively slow in human time, in geologic time it was quick as shit.

That home-run caused an ever so slight shift along SoCal's San Andreas Fault. This occurrence was unnoticed even by geologists at the time, but eventually would wreak havoc. A little over a month later, on May 27, a 5.2 magnitude earthquake occurred: The Wheeler Ridge Earthquake. On the Richter Scale, a 5.2 magnitute really isn't that high so again the apparent BTE was seemingly low. There's more to it.

Remember Plate Tectonics from elementary school? Yeah they teach you that shit for a reason. The Earth's land masses are connected to plates that were once all connected and have been drifting apart...its complicated stuff involving the lithosphere and asthenosphere and complicated junk like that. The point is the plates are connected and they can cause problems, e.g. earthquakes. Well this particular Bonds home-run causing this particular earthquake, causing a spontaneous, unpredicted plate shift really F'ed things up on a geological scale. Keeping in mind that geology is an incredibly slow moving process, nine years is basically the blink of an eye on such a scale. So scientifically speaking the nine years it took for the North American Plate shift to move the Pacific Plate, that slammed into the Australian Plate, that pounded the Indian Plate is certainly plausible.


When the Indian Plate got pounded by the Australian Plate, an earthquake with a magnitude of 9.15 registered in the Indian Ocean. That sparked the most lethal tsunami in the history of the world in December of 2004.

Barry Bonds hits a home-run...230,000 die.



147 Comments:

Blogger BonVar said...

Geology does suck. So does Barry Bonds. Not only does he cause substantial damage to the earth, and disrupt the delicate balance of what we know about plate tectonics, he also HATES kittens. Since he hates kittens, then naturally he HATES babies, as kittens are nothing more than baby cats. John Rocker LOVES kittens (as seen on www.johnrocker.net) and babies too for that matter. As far as babies are concerned... they were not always called babies. They used to be referred to only as infants -until Babe Ruth started hitting homeruns. Babe Ruth filled new mothers' lives with such joy the only thing they could compare the joy to was looking at their infants... thus they lovingly started referring to their infants as... "Babies." Dear God, don't get me started on how the term "bail BONDS" came about. Can we really compare Babe Ruth to Barry Bonds...... FUCK NO!

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