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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Home Run Number 666

For additional proof that each Barry Bonds home run brings the world one step closer to the apocalypse, you don't have to look any further than April 19th, 2004. That night, we all got a glimpse of our impending annihilation as Barry hit home run number 666. It was if Barry was trying to subtely tell us something because it just so happened to be the 6th game in a row that Barry went yard and the 9th anniversary of the infamous OKC bombings. (For those of you who instantly see the significance, a 9 is an upside-down 6) That's just too many sixes to be coincidental. After discovering these facts, I began to dig deeper.

I then realized that since the game was at night on the west coast, to most of the Christian world, the ball technically cleared the fence on the early morning of April 20th. I was somewhat relieved that the OKC bombing thing might not have been a precursor to the end of the world as brought on by Bonds home runs, but the more research I did, the more bone-chilling facts I uncovered. On April 20th, 1999 (three sixes upside down), 2 high school students tragically gunned down 13 (another evil number) of their classmates at Columbine High School in Colorado. Also, besides being the birthday of genocide master Slobodon Milosevic, April 20th is also the birthday of Adolf Hitler. Had Hitler still been alive and kicking it in Germany at the moment Barry crossed the plate, he would have just turned 115 years old. Further research showed that when you divide 115 by 6, you get 1.9166666666 repeating. Forever. We don't make this stuff up, people. Basically, unless pitchers don't intentionally walk Barry until he retires, we are all freaking screwed.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

April 19 was also the date when Waco blew up . . .

6:58 PM  

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