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Thursday, April 27, 2006

Damn It

So Barry can hit a 99 mph fastball to the left side of the field as good as he can hit a Steve Trachsel 85 mph fastball to left field. Thanks a lot Billy. By the way a bus crashed into a house minutes after he hit it. Nobody died though. I don't even think the Bonds Catastrophe Determinator thought he was going to hit that pitch. Then again I don't think the BCD really understands how little it takes to hit a ball a long way when it is coming to the plate that fast. Way to leave it out over the plate Billy. That seems to be the theme for the three home runs this year. Lets try jamming this guy from now on.

Now our good friend Barry has 711 and is right on Ruth's heels. With three more to go the guessing game has begun as to what pitcher is going to give up the record breaking shot. Over at Deadspin they have the official guessing competition with prizes and everything. I am going to say it will take him all the way to the LA series and he is going to go yard off of Brad Penny. Thanks a lot in advance Brad.

But what I really hope happens is the ghost of Babe Ruth, last seen talking to that overrated trash stash Benny kid from the Sandlot, decides to pay Barry a visit. He told Benny, "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart kid and you'll never go wrong." He wouldn't say that to Bonds, who doesn't have a heart, but what would he say? For some reason I picture him telling Barry he would fucking kill him if he broke his record. But not in that deep significant voice like you would expect but something more like Clayton Bigsby. Then he would just float off into the distance saying "woogie boogie Barry, woogie boogie." I could be wrong. Any thoughts?

58 Comments:

Blogger roid rage said...

I think the Babe would say something like "If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself? I know I would. Oh yeah, and by the way Barry, you are a real asshole, man. Anyways, I'm going to have a drink and bang some more honeys. Did you know that they are shaving down there these days. I never saw that back in my day."

9:58 PM  
Anonymous Reid Smith said...

No one likes Bonds (myself included, obviously,) and thats a huge reason I don't want to see him break the record. Especially when it could be someone nice, like Griffey, had he not gone down.

-Reid

10:17 PM  
Anonymous Reid Smith said...

My bad. I explained how it could've been Griffey had he stayed healthy on my own site...
http://reid.mlblogs.com

Thought a statement like that needed some qualification.

-Reid

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Anonymous Ritty said...

Griffey would have been a better choice for sure...but I don't know what Griffey would have done under the pressure. He has had his own I hate the media, I don't really like the game anymore moments. I think we are going to have to go through all of this again if ARod stays healthy for a number of years. That guy sucks too.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ritty, coming over from deadspin, and I'm still laughing. Well done, Abe Shorey

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Blogger wkujadedcynic said...

kudos for your link from deadspin...how'd you hook that up?

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