It Has Begun

Barry Bonds finally hit his first home run of the season, so all you people who were feeling sorry for him can stop being gay (or Heauxmeauzsexuals if you will). But it wasn't like feeling sorry for him made him hit a home-run. Bonds doesn't care what people think of him even when they are offering their pity. So it's not your fault. It's Aaron Cook's fault. He's the guy who gave up the HR.

Thanks a lot Aaron. And you let him hit it out to left field no less, Aaron? That's like his third home run ever to left field. Congratulations, he saw that one coming.

That was Barry's first long ball since September 27, 2005 when his homer killed Brazilian comedian Ronald Golias thus sending the country of Brazil into mourning. You people in South America aren't shielded from the shit that hits the fan...and neither are you people in Australia.

As soon as Barry's ball cleared the fence, Typhoon Monica jumped to a Category Five with winds of 144 mph and now threaten the good people of Australia...proving Bonds home runs still do have a geological link with the Earth. And it's no small coincidence that Bin Laden is back in the news either.

The rumblings from this home run are relatively small with this being only his first home run of the season and all. It shouldn't really even be news. Omar Vizquel also hit his first of the year and the only reason his shot got any publicity was because Bonds mentioned he didn't want to trail Omar in HR totals. Good one Barry. That little boy in Russia didn't die because Omar went yard.

Those whores over at ESPN are licking their lips and on ESPN.com (no link...find it yourself) their secondary headline about the home run is still up the morning after. Oh...did they mention he has a show called Bonds on Bonds that airs on Tuesday nights? Can't wait to see the show about the latest exploits. It's too bad the Giants won 6-4 so now all we are going to hear is that the reason Barry is suddenly happy is because the Giants won. And that's what it's all about, right?