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Monday, May 08, 2006

Barry One Away From Second Place

So Barry went yard yesterday. Thanks a lot Jon Lieber. And now we are at 713... One home run away from tying one of the top 3 most recognizable athletes of all time in what has historically been the most coveted record of all time. After Barry's shot slammed into a McDonald's sign at Citizens Bank Park, Israel released a statement saying, "Iran can also be wiped off the map." Iran had previously misinterpreted a Bonds long ball as a threat and promised to bomb everybody. Sounds like this is going well.

MLB is doing the right thing and has planned no celebration when Bonds eventually breaks the record, which is really kind of like throwing a victory parade for losing the World Series. ESPN on the other hand is planning a giant orgy with Bonds, Pedro Gomez, Scott Van Pelt, and just to piss everybody off Stephen A. Smith will join the fray so an ESPN basketball analyst can take some time from kissing Kobe's ass to spend some quality time dangling from Barry's nuts. Peter Gammons will break it down and Chris Berman will be available for sound effects. It sounds pretty disturbing but the producers of Bonds on Bonds are fucking pumped.

Speaking of ESPN, the race-baiters on Sportcenter are cooking up a classic straw man. In their opening for their 5:00 CST show they questioned whether the Bonds treatment has been fair and implied that race is involved. This proves that they pretty much missed the point entirely up in Bristol but probably do so with ulterior motives. They don't want to talk about steroids. Why? Who knows? It probably has something to do with the ball sucking mentioned above. That or the fact that ESPN has to have a cause.

If ESPN had a political show, these would be the talking heads.

What they don't realize is that nobody cares about Bonds blackness. Had people have known McGwire's punk ass was doing Roids, he would be getting the same treatment...without the benefit of ESPN's straw man arguments. I remember when Sportscenter was just some dudes showing 30 minutes of highlights without a "cause." Now we get 15 minutes of highlights, 30 minutes of pure speculation (will Brett Favre play 2 more years? Was Kobe making a statement? Is Stuart Scott's poetry profound?), and 15 minutes of Bonds is black, the alleged Duke victim is black, Augusta still won't let women in, there are no black people in the front office somewhere, etc. etc. etc. Seriously...shut the hell up ESPN and show me some games. I cannot wait until the Internet makes you completely irrelevant. And quit hitting home runs Barry...Son of a Bitch.

Don't worry ESPN...white people aren't going to bust out the civil rights hose for Barry Bonds.


Anonymous Kirk said...

Please take our Barry Bonds Steroids Poll and pass on the URL to others who might be interested.


12:14 PM  

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