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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Scott Linebrink Sings Like Shit

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Barry Bonds is two away from tying the Babe.
Bonds hit his 712th home run in the San Francisco Giants' 5-3 loss to San Diego on Tuesday, moving him even closer to matching Babe Ruth's total for second place on the career list.
Bonds sent a full-count pitch from Scott Linebrink over the center-field wall for a solo shot that traveled an estimated 440 feet in the bottom of the eighth inning. Linebrink became the 419th pitcher to surrender a home run to Bonds.... THANKS A LOT SCOTT. Yeah and I bet that song kicks a lot of ass Linebrink. "I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I gave my... " Where's Bluto Blutarsky when you need him?

So begins the AP article documenting the Giants 5-3 loss to the Padres. But all the nonsense about what actually happened in the game didn't start until a few paragraphs down. The real news is that Bonds is only two away from forever tainting the game of our grandfathers and great grandfathers. And right in the middle of exams no less. The prick.

In related news...the Iranians seem to have misunderstood Bonds' selfish, steroid indulged assault on the record books as some kind of a threat and promised to attack Israel if the U.S. acts "evil." Something about an infidel. I don't understand those people. Me personally? I'm not too worried about Israel. They will F Iran's S up. There aren't a whole lot of countries out there who can say they were at the winning end of a war that lasted only six days. But after that what happens? Anybody else been reading about Russia in the news lately? Just stop hitting home runs Barry...seriously.

After showing the Bonds home run over and over and over and over on Sportscenter and on Baseball Tonight, an 8.0 Earthquake was created in the Tonga Islands. As of noon CST, there is a tsunami warning for the Fiji Islands. Hopefully the death toll is down per capita as there aren't that many people in that part of the world...but whether anything happens or not I am going to go ahead and add Vijay Singh to the people who HATE Barry Bonds.


Blogger roid rage said...

If the end of the world is comming, I hope it happens before the tax exam

10:54 PM  

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