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Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Truth and John Rocker

So considering there hasn't been a new post on this website in quite some time, and also taking in mind half of Earth hasn't exploded even though Bonds now has a whopping 24 HR's this season and 732 total...maybe Barry isn't causing mass hysteria, destruction, total chaos and the apocalypse just by 'roid raging baseballs out of the yard. But May was the last time any serious research was conducted and A LOT of messed up stuff has happened since then. E.G. Everybody knows how to spell this guy's name now and you can't prove it has nothing to do with Barry Bonds hitting, say, home run number 720.

SCARY

So, I still like the idea that we need theories to stop Bonds, and John Rocker is still the Chuck Norris of these ideas. I've paid $35 and up to see some pretty terrible major league baseball games and I would defintely pay at least that much on a regular basis to see Rocker chunk fastballs at Barry's weak ass tendons. See Resolution Number 1

The true irony (at least it's kind of ironic to this website) about all of this is that Barry's home run chase has been virtually irrelvant all season long with the exception of that annoying "Chasing Aaron" feature ESPN scrolls on the bottom of the TV screen, and meanwhile John Rocker has been on the news (like the legit news not Sportscenter) putting the media in its place on a variety of topics including Mel mother F'ing Gibson. Not to mention the Pros vs. Joes event where dudes had to charge the mound and play King of the Hill against the Mouth of the South. That was badass.

Which finally brings me to the point of this post. Though people still ask about the site, we really still only have one big fan - who just happens to work with Mr. Rocker. So we here at BoD now have two missions: 1) Stop Barry Bonds from breaking a great record held by a legitimate, great American and 2) Have John Rocker add something to this blog...especially if it's answering questions. But anybody who has ever watched that stupid "Hot Seat" gimmick they do on Sportscenter knows that people sometimes ask dumb F'ing questions and they never ask what you want to hear answered. So pretend you have John Rocker on the "hot seat" or in an elevator or in your holding cell, etc. and you can only ask one question...what would it be? I think mine would be serious. For example:

"Mr. Rocker, you have been the target of the hitman that is the media. Though you were just one baseball player speaking his mind off the cuff, the onslaught caused major problems and no doubt had some negative impact on your career. So the question, do you think the lessons you learned from the media overkill as it relates to sports carry over into how you view politics? That is, how trusting are you of the media when it comes to things like the First Amendment, the War on Terror, President Bush, and things of that nature?"

Damn. That question kind of sucks. I'm sure anyone reading this can come up with something better...and if you do, leave a comment and maybe we will get some feedback from a guy from Georgia who did what every Southerner would do if given the chance: piss off the entire state of New York.

UPDATE: The website is freaking out and I can't add any pictures. But, if you go to Rocker's website...it turns out Mr. Rocker really doesn't have a problem a with people of other races, especially if they are smoking hot.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a question... Mr. Rocker, how did you score that chick?

11:34 AM  
Blogger Barrett said...

John, you should write something for this website, as the author is a good friend of mine. By the way, you owe me $50 on our AU/WSU bet.

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Saw you have a publicist/pr person now...where the hell was she when you were playing for the Braves?

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rocker looks pretty jacked lately...I wonder if he has a problem with steroid use at all or if he has ever used them himself.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Ritty said...

The fact that anybody bet on WSU is hilarious and the fact that Barrett is demanding his money is even funnier. Don't pay him.

2:46 PM  
Blogger Debi said...

Actually, John would prefer a political question. He will be on The Mike Gallagher Show this Thursday at 10:35 am EST discussing politics.
Barrett - I will ask John about that bet.
Anonymous - Unfortunately John didn't hire me until 3 years after the incident. But I was there, willing to help...

4:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has Barry Bonds been on Mike Gallagher? I don't think so.

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's a political question...involving ervybody's favorite Iranian T.J. Houshmandzadeh --- what the crap should Pres. Bush do about him coming to NYC to speak at the UN? I think Bush needs to wear a wristband that says WWJRD? What would John Rocker do?

5:49 PM  
Anonymous Richmeister said...

A political question! A religous question would be better since it may lead to a fatwah being issued by some needle-brained towel head.

Mr. Rocker:

1): Do you consider yourself a rightest or leftist Hegelian, or you reject dialectics all together?

2): To whom do you most closely identify with on a political level?:

a. George F. Will
b. Edward Kennedy
c. Patrick J. Buchanan
d. Noam Chomsky

Thanks for your consideration.

7:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, please anwer richmeister's question.

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Saw Rocker's site..WHO'S THE CHICK????

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Bill at Carter Windows said...

two questions: 1. where did rocker get that cutie piece and can i have more pics of her in less clothing, please :D and
2. to his publicist..I do not envy your job and hope your being paid well. in your opin, has he improved under your watch?

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More of the girl.
I agree with the Bill Windows dude. No clothes. :)

Can we get Rocker on here?? That would be major.

10:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon 10:36 did you go to rockers page? her name is there, but seriously that isnt important.
what is important is that i just saw her in a thong.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Debi said...

Bill- I left you a message on my blog as well. Go to www.aliciamarie.com. As for my job, it isn't as bad as you might think. In reference to his improvement, a big part of what I do with John is teach him how to handle the media. I think he has improved 300% in that department. He's really just a nice, regular guy. The media has portrayed him as the monster he isn't. I will get him on as soon as the guys come up with their question....

10:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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5:46 AM  
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2:28 AM  

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